Just Thinking

It's been nearly a year since I blogged. People don't seem very interested in blogs...at least not my blogs. Some people say they make money by writing blogs, but I think I'd get pretty hungry counting on blogs for my living. I try to be thought provoking, but perhaps my mind is the only one which is processing the information that stirs me to blog. I haven't really thought about blogging much lately, I've been kind of busy. This morning while updating the website I saw the link for blogs and thought, "You know, I probably should take that off the site. I don't really blog anymore."

But then, it was kind of like a voice from cyberspace said, "Try again." I didn't really want to. I have a lot to do today, but perhaps blogging is more for me than others. Maybe from time to time it just helps me to put my thoughts out there where I know I'm accountable for what I'm thinking and feeling. Maybe it's cathartic. I don't really know but today I feel compelled to write..so here goes.

If you know me at all, you know I love to preach. I'd rather preach than almost anything. When God made me, He put something in me that drives me to study, prepare, create and then deliver what I hope are encouraging, spiritually uplifting and challenging words. Perhaps one of the things I love most about preaching is when I have kind of an "out of body" experience. It's hard to explain but there are many times I feel like God has taken over, not in a scary way, but directing my thoughts and words. When this happens I usually feel like I'm watching myself preach. I find myself thinking, "where did that come from, I didn't plan to say that!" I'm not one of those preachers who doesn't prepare and then hopes God will come through. It's not like that at all. I'm always prepared. I'm always ready. Yet, I always find myself thinking, "Lord I hope you take over today and preach through me." Most of the time, I feel like He does, to one degree or another, and I never feel jealous or cheated because He took center stage. I'm always grateful that He allowed me to be part of the process.

But here is what I'm wondering about today. That process is so natural when it comes to preaching and teaching. Why is it so rare in my everyday life? I have to believe this is what Paul was talking about when he said in Galatians 2:20, "it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me." Shouldn't my life exemplify a pattern of living which reflects the nature of Christ rather than mine? Shouldn't my life represent His love, compassion for people and acceptance of all? Shouldn't I be moved to meet the needs of people around me? What about putting others before me, not worrying about the inconvenience of ministering to others at awkward times, or breaking with religious traditions that keep me bound to legalism and unable to see past the end of my self-righteous nose? Why are those attitudes so hard to adopt as my own? Why do I struggle with allowing Him to take over the other parts of my life, like He takes over on Sunday morning?

I'm not sure I have the answer...but I do have a goal. I am going to make a conscious decision each day to let Him have control of my words, thoughts and deeds. I really do want my life to look more and more like His and less and less like mine. I pray that is your desire as well.

Just thinking...
Pastor Rick